کتاب سکوت

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از نگاه روانشناسی انسان ها را به دو دسته درونگرا و برونگرا تقسیم می کنند. کتاب سکوت در مورد افراد درونگرا می باشد. سوزان کین تاکید دارد که درونگرایی و برونگرایی دو الگوی مختلف رفتاری و شخصیتی هستند که به یک اندازه ارزشمند محسوب می‌شوند و می‌توانند در دنیای ما اثربخش و تاثیرگذار باشند.

در این کتاب داستان های جالبی را می خوانیم که در آخر متوجه می شویم که افراد ویژگی هایی جالب نظیر درونگرایی را دارند. به عنوان مثال زن سیاه پوستی که باعث شعله ور شدن جنبش مدنی آمریکا شد یک فرد درونگرا بود.

در کتاب سکوت با اشاره به داستان ها و افراد مختلف نویسنده سعی دارد به خواننده بیاموزد که درونگرا بودن می تواند یک قدرت محسوب شود و این نوع سبک زندگی هیچ ایرادی ندارد.


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معرفی کتاب سکوت از نگاه کاربران
What an affirmation! While listening to this book, I was constantly reminded of Al Franken’s Saturday Night Live character, Stuart Smalley, and his mantra, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” Well, those who understand me do. Full disclosure, according to the Myers-Briggs Personality Test, I’m an ISFJ.

There were so many points of affirmation for me—things I intuitively knew. Things I’ve tried to share with others mostly to no avail. This book supplies all the data I need to support my case. Unfortunately, I don’t think the people who need to read/listen this book (extroverts) will.

The book is not an “introverts are superior” diatribe but rather an explanation of how we can leverage personality types most effectively. There is no right or best personality type but like life in general, we need to understand each other for more harmonious relationships. Whether these relationships are family, work, or social, applications of understanding are documented throughout the book.

There was one example in the book that hit particularly close to home. Although SAT or IQ scores do not support it, people who talk more are perceived as leaders. And, which personality type talks more? Extroverts. Now, assume that both extroverts and introverts have an equal amount of good ideas. Who is going to get their way more? Extroverts. This could be dangerous because they’re going to get their way more meaning that many of their bad ideas are also going to be implemented.

Oh, another thing I intuitively knew but now have support for is brainstorming sessions. Studies show the larger the number of people involved in a session, the less effective they are. A 9-member group is less effective than a 6-member group which is less than effective than a 4-member group which is less effective than a 2-member group. The suggestion is to conduct brainstorming sessions electronically. Collect comments and then share them anonymously and build from there. One of the reasons is that most introverts are better writers than speakers.

Other examples from the business world give tips for how both introverted and extroverted leaders can best work with their subordinates of each type. Take advantage of each of their strengths. Such as how studies show that introverts “inspect” and extroverts “react”. Neither adjective should be taken as derogatory but instead as strengths. Allow introverts time to examine and solve. Studies show they are more persistent trying to solve unsolvable problems. The famous introvert, Albert Einstein said, “It is not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” My hero.

A final word on the narration—fantastic. If you have the opportunity to listen rather than read this book, I would strongly recommend going with the audio format. Kathe Mazur does a perfect narration in a “Quiet”, calm, soothing voice. Very appropriate “in a noisy world that can’t stop talking”.




مشاهده لینک اصلی
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Cant Stop Talking is about being an introvert in todays society.

Confession time: Im a tremendous introvert. I know youre all thinking something along the lines of @What? A guy who reads constantly and writes over a hundred book reviews a year is an [email protected] Shocking but true. I could easily go days without human contact. At parties, Im the guy hanging out near the food or snooping through the hosts books or medicine cabinet. I could go into more detail but since I have a feeling most Goodreaders are also introverts, Ill skip it.

Basically, the book is a flashing neon sign that says its okay to be an introvert. Susan Cain chronicles her own struggles as an introvert, as well as showing how America went from being about character to about personality, right around the time movies and TV started getting popular. It covers introverts in all areas, like corporate America, and how introverts are treated in other societies. Theres a lengthy section on raising introvert kids, which a lot of parents could use instead of shoving their kids into the shark-infested extrovert waters.

Honestly, I could have used this book as a teenager, when people were constantly badgering me to go out more. Scientific discoveries and works of art are rarely made by people who are constantly talking. Cain covers topics like being an introvert in the business world, where people who talk the loudest get their way more often than not, something I see every day in cubeland.

Actually, the book gave me insight into the behavior of some of my family. Until he retired, my dad was crabbier than Red Foreman all the time. I used to think he was just an angry asshole but now I think he was an introvert with nowhere to unwind. Now that hes retired, I see how much alike we are. Hes actually pretty friendly as long as the visits dont go too long.

Susan Cains writing style is engaging. I felt the repeated examples may have padded the book a bit.
While I felt validated by reading it, sometimes it felt like a book a kid named Matthew, who happened to be missing a finger, wrote about how nine-fingered Matthews are the best at everything. I liked it but most of what Cain says seemed pretty obvious. There are no mind-blowing revelations for introverts within. I do recommend extroverts read it, however. 3.5 out of 5 stars.


مشاهده لینک اصلی


You can also read this review on Flying Kick-a-pow! Reviews

This is a bit different from what I typically read and review. I dont often read non-fiction, but when my mom got this out of the library and I read the inside flap, I knew I would have to give it a shot. It sounded like something I could relate to and possibly benefit from … and it was. As soon as I started it, I was totally engrossed. And as I made my way through the entire thing, I felt like I was learning more and more about myself.

My whole life Ive been an introvert. I keep to myself more than the people around me do. I tend to prefer reading/writing to partying. Im very self-conscious about speaking; when I talk in front of a bunch of unfamiliar people, I stumble over my words and blush and feel like a moron … hence, I usually opt not to speak at all unless someone forces me to and/or speaks to me first.

Ive grown used to labels like @[email protected] and @quiet,@ to the rude questions like @Can you [email protected], @Do you speak [email protected], and @Have you been in this class the whole [email protected] The confrontations and notes from teachers/professors are expected by now. @You need to speak up more in class,@ @Dont be [email protected] etc.

Just thinking about it right now makes me want to punch a wall. People act as if its some magical switch I can turn on and off. They think I dont talk much because Im incompetent, because Im lazy, because Im a bitch, because I think Im better than everyone else. People who know me well can see Im none of those things (at least, I hope Im not), but for a lot of people it seems to be a challenge to understand that. Its not that I blame them, because I think its hard to comprehend what its like to be an introvert if you havent experienced it yourself. But still, its frustrating.

What makes being an introvert so hard is that––especially in the US––we are held up to what Susan Cain calls the @Extrovert [email protected] That is, we are told our whole lives that the @[email protected] person is an extrovert––outgoing, confident, well-spoken, etc. Extroverted people are thought of as being more important, more authoritative, and more attractive. If you are a shy, you are more likely to be seen as weak, a pushover, a bad leader, an awkward/unattractive person. Were constantly told that in order to succeed, we need to stand up for ourselves, push others out of the way, be the loudest, take the most risks. If youre a shy/introverted person, you are constantly told that you need to change––that if you continue to be quiet, youre never going to get anywhere in life. You wont get a good job, you wont succeed, no one will want to date you ... you name it.

Needless to say, I hate being shy. Im tired of always being told that I need to speak up more, that I just have to be more confident. Its like, do you think I want to be this way? Do you think I enjoy not being able to say what I want to say, that I feel totally idiotic every time I open my mouth, that I dont even want people to look at me because Im so self-conscious? Trust me, if I could, I would be more confident. If I could just shut off all the thoughts in my head, I would gladly speak up more often.

But Ive always felt like my brain just wasnt wired that way. People act as if its as easy as just speaking up, that the leap from being introverted to being extraverted is as easy as, @You know what? Im just not going to be shy today! [email protected]

And … yeah. Its not like that at all. Its like, when Im surrounded by people I dont (or only barely) know, I just go on lockdown. My mind doesnt generate things to say. My mouth refuses to open. I just completely freeze up. And its not that I dont want to participate in the conversation. I wish talking was easy for me. I do want to contribute. Yet, theres this voice in my head telling me to not say anything, and to just sit back and observe.

So, obviously, this is a very frustrating trait to have. It holds me back in a lot of social situations. I have trouble making friends (although I do have friends, so dont worry). Ive managed to live for two decades without ever having a boyfriend. My grades have suffered. So on and so forth.

Ive struggled with this my whole life, I constantly beat myself up about it … Ive always wondered what the hell was wrong with me. Why couldnt I just magically gain some confidence? Why couldnt I just suck it up and be a more social person?

Ive spent my whole life trying to find something to blame, some reason why Ive always been like this. Is it because Im part of a large family, and therefore Ive always felt like I should just keep my problems to myself? Is it because I grew up in such an academically competitive town where there was too much pressure to be the star student?

Of course, there must be various contributing factors. But according to Cains book, it may be due more to nature than to nurture than we may think.

Cain discusses several studies that relate introversion/extroversion to sensitivity. And apparently, people with more active amygdalae––a part of the brain that plays a significant role in processing memory and emotional reactions––are far more likely to be introverts. People fall roughly into two groups: @high [email protected] and @low [email protected] If you are a more high reactive individual, you are more likely to:

- React more strongly to stimuli––new sounds, meeting new people, seeing disturbing images, etc.
- Be more empathetic towards other people
- Be very observational, notice small details
- React more emotionally to artwork/music/books/etc.
- Be more prone to emotional problems like anxiety/depression
- Be very sensitive about what other people think of you, and therefore become timid in social situations where you dont know many people

This isnt to say, of course, that more low reactive people dont experience these things, its just that it tends to happen on a lower scale for them because their amygdalae are not as sensitive. Also, high reactive does not automatically equal introverted and low reactive doesnt automatically equal extroverted, but research suggests a strong correlation between the two traits.

But whats most important to realize about levels of reactivity is that they cant be controlled. Cain discusses one study in which infants were tested for how reactive they were to stimuli––and a majority of high-reactive infants grew up to be introverts, while the low-reactive infants tended to grow up to be extroverts. Its studies such as these that suggest we dont choose introversion or extroversion; they are built into our DNA.

One can easily fake one or the other. That is, you can be an introvert and still speak a lot and socialize frequently––its just that, as an introvert, you will be more drained by social interaction. Because introverts are often more high-reactive individuals and therefore react more strongly to stimuli, a room of new faces is much more exhausting to process than it would be for someone who is more low-reactive.

I could go on and on about this, but of course––if you want to learn more, I highly suggest reading this book. Theres a lot of fascinating information about the subject.

Quiet seriously changed the way I think about myself. I still dislike being shy and introverted for many reasons. But after reading this, I also know that I might not have the same creative and observant traits that I have now, if I were extroverted instead. And more importantly, I know that it isnt my fault for being this way––and that millions of people face the same struggle that I do. I dont know if I can say that I really accept who I am, at least not yet. But at least I feel like I understand it a lot better.

Over all, I think this book is well-written and well-researched, and Cain narrates it with heart and humor––drawing from her own experience as an introvert alongside her studies of the subject. I thought Quiet was brilliant, and I recommend it to introverts and extroverts alike.



~ Flying Kick-a-pow! Reviews ~

مشاهده لینک اصلی
This is the first time in my life Im saying this: Im so proud to be an introvert :)



مشاهده لینک اصلی
Thank you, Susan Cain, for writing this remarkable book! As an introvert who has always been regarded as not only quiet, but also timid and weak, this book is very refreshing. It puts into words what many introverts know intuitively; strength does not have to be loud, in your face, or aggressive. Strength and conviction can present themselves quietly without sacrificing effectiveness. Through impressive research, Ms. Cain clearly demonstrates the importance of both personality types and the value of introversion. I only wish that I could have read this book when I was younger so that I would have been more confident and accepting of my own nature. After reading it now, I do feel that I can better articulate the importance of my role in society and take pride in the contributions that introverts have made throughout history.

مشاهده لینک اصلی
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